Many people ask us why funerals are important. Having a funeral ceremony for your loved one provides us with the opportunity to say our goodbyes. This is a very important part of the grieving process, we need to grieve. We can underestimate just how much value a funeral can have to us. All cultures have created rituals to honour their dead.
Another reason why funerals are important is that people require some kind of farewell to assist us in coping with grief.
Funerals are not for the deceaased, it’s about them. The funeral is for everyone who knew, loved and was connected to that person.
Nowadays people want to have their say in how the funeral will look. People want more involvement, more about the person, more creativity with personal touches – they want the funeral to be meaningful, relevant and true to the life that was lived. They want it to be authentic.
Funerals can be whatever you want or need them to be. Whether that be relaxed, formal, funny, serious, colourful, filled with music or themed. The fundamental part is that the funeral reflects the life that was lived and how that life mattered to others.
Funerals are essential in allowing the grief to start moving forward so that it doesn’t get stuck inside.
Researchers and psychologists are very clear in their message about funerals and grief – participating in a funeral helps to counter the initial effects of grief like shock, numbness and disbelief.
Funerals underpin a necessary part of grieving – they reinforce the reality that the death has actually happened.
People need to allow their grief to surface. A funeral provides a safe and appropriate place to show and share our feelings with others. We should not underestimate how helpful this can be in setting the foundations for healthy grieving.
Funerals help us say, Thank you. I love you. I’m lonely without you. I’ll always remember you. You meant a lot to me.
Funerals provide the right time and place for people to be together following the passing of a loved one.
We can underestimate how important it is for people to gather together when someone has died – to talk, to support each other, to reminisce and tell stories, to pay their respects, to let you know that they care about you.
Without a funeral, people often don’t know if it’s ok or the right time to contact you or to bring up the subject of what’s happened. The funeral is seen as the ‘right’ time and the ‘right’ place to approach you and to offer their support to you. Our friends have a need to reach out to us and say, I’m here for you.
Having this kind of support is vital in the weeks and months after the funeral when the reality of the loss really starts to sink in, and we have to adapt to a life without someone who mattered to us.
Please contact us for assistance.
Need a Female Funeral Director? Please contact our Ladies division, Remembrance Ladies.